Posted by Fantasia on October 17, 2001 at 21:08:25:
In Reply to: 16-17yr olds having Sleep overs posted by Laura on October 08, 2001 at 09:19:48:
My 14 year old daughter has mixed sleep overs occasionally. There are times when it works out better for all concerned to have all the kids just stay in one place rather than try to figure out who goes where and when and with who. The boys sleep in one room and the girls in another. I sleep between the rooms....kind of like the ultimate barrier method if you ask me.
I have known her friends since preschool when they all met....and they are just as great now as they were as little kids. I trust them as much as I would most adults.
We do not, however, have a zillion kids at once. Usually if we have a mixed sleep over it is a couple of girls and a couple of boys and more often than not the group has either been out to the movies or to eat together. There has never once been any problem with 'visiting' in the night, nor has there ever been any inappropriate behavior. One of the boys who is usually involved has been 'going out' with my daughter for the past 4-5 months. He's a great kid.
I also talk openly and honestly about sex and other so called adult issues with my daughter. Our home has always been an 'open door' for her to come talk about anything and everything. Most of her friends also talk about things with my husband and I that I would not have ever thought to talk to an adult about at that age. I am confident that we have taught her morals and values and right from wrong enough that we can trust her. We lay down the rules before the kids arrive and once they are all here we let them know what is and is not allowed.
So if you think I am crazy or need my head examined, thats your right...after all this is a free country. Don't be so quick to decide that a mixed sleepover is going to be a fiasco. Sometimes you have to trust your child and know that you instilled the right values and ability to make the right choices.