Posted by carolmanaw on January 10, 2001 at 12:38:55:
In Reply to: On being a (good) stepfather posted by Wolfspirit on December 13, 2000 at 01:17:39:
my husband became a stepfather to my daughter when she reached 16 she now refers to him as dad most of the time she is 26 now( tom became dad, husband and grandpa in a very short span of time)but he was a fast learner. some of the things that he did was he was always a good listner, he never took sides in an argument between my daughter and me in fact he stayed completely out of it. he didnt use my daughter to impress me ( by being overly nice) he respected her distance and he always always was truthful he used the wording of "I FEEL" or "In my Opinion" alot. unlike the other advice Tom did disapline brandi but he was always fair and he did it only while enforcing rules I had already established before hand that my daughter was already aware of and knew she would be in trouble with me for.
funny example:
number one rule no one in the house when I was not at home accept for my daughter. tom went to my house to check on a dog of mine that I had locked in a kennel because she was scared of storms I was at work and daughter was suppose to be out with her friends when he got to the house he found my daughter and 2 of her friends in the house, she asked him not to tell and he said ok but you cant go without any consequences for your actions so im confining you to the house or to the theatre for one week. if you break the confinement I tell your mom and I sfeel she will begin your confinement over again. well daughter agreed but I kept wondering how come she kept hanging around the theatre all the time which was abnormal and when I'd tell her go hang with her friends awhile she would say no Id rather stay and help here at the theatre, no Id just rather be here with you mom course I gave her strange looks in about 3 days she told me herself what she done and told me tom had her on restraint but i was killing her with bugging her about going somewhere, her trust built in tom because he kept his word